Harriet Goldhor Lerner's The dance of anger (1997, New York: Harper) is an excellent book written primarily for women but also applicable to men and eminently readable.  The thesis is that one needs to understand the sources of one's anger and do something effective in response, rather than just emoting.  Lerner devotes a good deal of attention to the pattern of the "nagging" wife and the withdrawing husband.  She sees anger as potentially empowering, but also potentially oppressive and controlling.  All in all, an excellent book.